


Confessions in silence

by Jad3w1ngs



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: First Times, Lack of Communication, M/M, Molly is mute due to trauma, autistic caleb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:41:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29465934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jad3w1ngs/pseuds/Jad3w1ngs
Summary: Set in the Mute universe. It's been almost a year since the Damned God was vanquished but Caleb can't get over the memory of seeing the man he loves being turned into a monster. It's really starting to affect their ( currently non-existent) sex life.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a one-shot that i've been thinking about since finishing Mute. But as these things go it kept getting longer and longer and now its a multi-chapter fic. Also i'm going to try and keep a fairly consistent upload schedule but I am doing this as a distraction from the stress of buying a house so real life may take over from time to time.

_Red eyes. Not the beautiful, loving red that he had come to know but glowing, hateful red that burned. Sharp, hard horns that wound around his body and pierced into his skin. Hard talons that scratched and cut as harsh words in a language unknown to him spat venom and curses._

Caleb awoke with a start, his breath coming in short pants as rapidly cooling sweat pooled at his hairline. The wizard took a few deep breaths as he stared into the darkness above him, trying to ground himself back into the present. He rubbed a hand over his face as he tried to push the violent images of his dream to the back of his mind. It was the same nightmare that he’d had for months now, well more of a memory than a nightmare.

A soft hand on his arm caused him to roll onto his side and face his companion. Molly was watching him, concern evident even despite the sleep still clouding his eyes. 

_Are you okay?_

The Tiefling signed, breaking off midway to stifle a yawn behind his hand, the closest thing to a non-verbal stutter that Caleb had seen.

The wizard held up one finger in reply, not ready to speak yet. This was the first time that he’d woken Molly up with one of his nightmares so he must have been thrashing about. Usually when Caleb awoke from one of these dreams he reminded himself that the events of the past weren’t going to repeat themselves by cataloguing the differences between Mollys current appearance and that of the Damned God. However with the Tiefling awake and watching him Caleb figured that he might freak him out if he spent the next 15 or so minutes staring at him.

But change and Caleb didn’t mix well so if he wanted to be in anyway productive today he had to do some form of the routine. Letting out a brief sigh Caleb reached up and ran his fingers through the soft lilac curls that fell to Mollys shoulders. As the petting continued the familiar sound of the Tieflings deep purr began to fill the dark room, the calming noise causing the tightness in Calebs chest to release somewhat.

After a minute he moved onto tracing the subtle ridges of Mollys horns, their gentle curve and gilded tips far less threatening than the ones in his dreams, especially as they were accompanied by a faint tinkling from the various ornamentations that Molly had taken to wearing. Next he ran his thumbs over the thin skin beneath Mollys eyes, gently massaging the pointed tips of his ears. 

Judging from the increasingly loud purring and the fact the Molly was practically vibrating now the Tiefling was thoroughly enjoying the attention that was being lavished on him. Emboldened by the response and the seclusion of their room, Caleb switched from the light brushes of his fingertips to gentle kisses, first on each of Mollys eyelids, then to the tip of his nose before finally moving to his lips. 

It started off chaste, a simple press of lips, but as Molly wiggled closer and tapped once against his collarbone Caleb figured ‘to hell with it’. He felt grounded enough now to interrupt his cataloguing and focus fully on kissing his beautiful boyfriend. He pulled Molly as close as possible, acutely aware of how into this Molly was as their pelvis’ pressed against each other. He broke away from the Tieflings lips and began trailing hot kisses down his neck relishing in every gasp and moan that he could draw from his usually silent companion.

As he recaptured Mollys lips, licking his way into his mouth he tried to ignore the resurfacing memories. Tried to replace the glowing red eyes with the soft ones that had looked at him this morning, but as Molly wrapped his arms around him, digging his nails into his back in pleasure, flashing memories of talons piercing his skin, Caleb pulled back. 

Molly took a few seconds to come out of the daze that Caleb had put him in, during which time he rested their foreheads together. He locked eyes with the wizard, growing increasingly more concerned as Caleb remained frozen next to him. He attempted to place another kiss on Calebs lips but the wizard pulled away suddenly.

“Uh, we should… I should get ready.”

Caleb climbed over his confused boyfriend, trying to ignore the look of hurt and dejection that had settled over the Tieflings face at his words as he made his way into the bathroom.

Caleb stood under the warm spray of the shower for several minutes, not attempting to clean himself as he gently thunked his head against the tiled wall.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

He muttered under his breath with each hit. Why couldn’t he just get past this? It had been nearly a year since the crypt and there had been no signs of the Damned God coming back, so why was he still freaking out about this? 

And why was it only when he and Molly were fooling around? 

The wizard tilted his head back, letting the distinctly colder water run over his face. This was unfair, especially to Molly. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to go further, he’d been just as into what they were doing as the Tiefling was, which Molly would have been very aware of considering how close they had been.

Sighing Caleb turned off the shower, resolved now to go and explain himself. Even if the thought caused an unpleasant shiver down his spine, gods how to even bring up to his boyfriend that he couldn’t fuck him because he was worried that Molly would get possessed half-way through and kill them both. Or the other reason that he was so worried, worried that he’d go to far somehow and Molly wouldn’t be able to verbalise and get him to stop.

The list of potential conversation starters vanished however when Caleb opened his bedroom door to find the room completely empty.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb still has no idea what he's going to do about Molly but maybe a certain elf can give him some advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters so short but if its any consolation I think the next chapter will be a bit longer. Also the tea shop that Nott and Molly are going to is owned by Caduceus because I feel like he deserves to at least be mentioned in this story. i'm not sure how many chapters are going to be in this fic but I cant imagine that it'll be more than 5.

Caleb hurried downstairs in the hopes that Molly had simply decided to join their housemates whilst he was in the shower and hadn’t left the bedroom in anger or sadness. However, once he reached the bottom of the stairs the only person he could see in the living room was Fjord.

“Morning Caleb, d’you have class today?” The half-orc asked with a smile, looking up briefly from the television screen.

“Uh yeah in half an hour. Have you seen Molly?”

Fjord paused his game and looked at the wizard in concern at the worried tone in his voice. “He went out with Nott and Jester a few minutes ago. They said that they were going to pick up Celeste, they’re taking her to that new tea shop. I thought Molly would have told you that?”

“I think Nott may have mentioned it last night. I guess I forgot.” Caleb responded absently as he ran a hand through his still damp hair in agitation.

Fjord was beginning to look increasingly more worried. “You okay brother? Did you two have a fight or something?”

“No, we didn’t have a fight. I have to get to class.” Caleb grabbed his satchel and practically bolted for the front door before Fjord could ask any follow up questions.

\--

Okay nothing to panic about, now that Caleb thought about it Nott had mentioned that she was going to visit Celeste recently. Celeste was the name that the young Tiefling girl that they had rescued from the Severn Circles had chosen, she and Nott had formed a strong bond during her stay in the hospital. As her surrogate older brother of course Molly would have wanted to join them on their outing.

Lost in his own thoughts Caleb arrived at his advanced transfiguration class in record time. He claimed a seat near the back, an unusual enough occurrence that it took Taako a few minutes to locate him when he finally arrived 10 minutes later.

“Hey my dude, what are you doing skulking back here?” Taako asked, his tone jokey and light as he flopped down next to him, a cacophony of noise accompanying the movement as the bells on his hat swung animatedly.

“Morning Taako.” Caleb responded, pointedly ignoring the question, choosing instead to continue staring at his blank notebook.

“Seriously dude, you okay?”

Caleb heaved a sigh. “Yeah I’m fine, just had a frustrating morning is all.” 

“Still haven’t been able to do it then?” 

Caleb really wanted to be angry at his friend, both for the comment and the shit eating grin that had accompanied it. But once again Taako was the only other person who knew about the problems that he’d been having, and therefore the only other person who he could speak to. Even if he didn’t know all of the reasons behind it.

“Molly told you didn’t he.”

“He texted me after you bolted for the bathroom.” Taako explained, holding up his phone. “You really need to explain things to him my man. He’s starting to get the wrong idea. Like seriously, he’s been asking me if you were only with him because you felt an obligation or something after saving him.”

Caleb felt cold, like all the blood had suddenly stopped pumping round his body, he should have known that Molly wouldn’t be taking this well. Even though he never pushed, Molly was such a tactile creature and Calebs hot and cold approach would be confusing to anyone.

“Gods does he really think that?”

“Can you blame him?” Taako responded, the sound of his perfectly manicured nails tapping against the phone screen loud in the relative quiet of the lecture hall. “I probably shouldn’t be showing you this but as you two are obviously not communication properly by yourselves I guess I’ll have to be the intermediary.” 

He slid the now unlocked phone over to Caleb, Mollys text conversation visible on the screen.

_M: You have class with Caleb later right?_

_T: Dude it’s so early. How are you even awake?_

_M: He was having a nightmare. It woke me up._

_T: Oh, he okay?_

_M: Not sure. He ran away again._

_M: He was kissing me, and then he ran away_

_M: If he doesn’t want me I wish he’s just say that instead of forcing himself._

_T: Babydoll, Caleb is crazy about you_

_T: But he’s also a moron who cant deal with his own feelings_

_T: Don’t worry I’ll straighten him out_

_M: I just heard the shower stop. I don’t want to be here when he comes back. Thanks for listening._

_M: Sorry I woke you up_

_T: Sure thing sweetness, but don’t do anything stupid okay?_

_T: And for the record you both suck at talking to each other._

“I’m not sure how comforting that last message would have been.” Caleb sighed as he handed the phone back.

“Hey Taako only tells the truth. And whilst you still hold the crown for most bone-headed when it comes to talking about your feelings, Mollys habit of literally running away from his feelings comes a close second. But you’re probably right, guess that’s why he didn’t respond to me.”

The rest of the lecture passed without much conversation and Caleb spent the time between taking notes and forming some kind of action plan in regards to speaking to Molly. Unfortunately, by the time the professor told them that they could leave he had only gotten as far as ‘speak to Molly’ in his plan.

“You heading to the library amigo? I’ll come with if you are, I think I might actually have to study for this module.” Taako asked as they stepped out into the warm mid-day sun.

“No. I think I have to go home, hopefully Molly will be back by the time I get there.”

“Understandable. Good luck my man.” Taako gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before turning on his heel and heading in the direction of the university library.


End file.
